Black, White or Brown - Are we really different ?

We come in all colours – some of us are white, some of us are black, some brown. We come in all sizes – some of us are short, some of us tall. We have black, brown, and golden hair colours. We speak different languages – we have some six to seven thousand languages spoken in the world today. Our upbringing might be different, our social structures vary, we might have diverse cultures – but at the heart of it all – we go through the same emotions, learnings, self realizations and at the end of it all we all end up at the same place. Our approach to life might be different, but goals of all human beings, no matter from which part of the world or culture they come from, are the same.

These days I have made a German Friend in my course at IIMB. Lets call her B.

I was telling B that in the Indian society, youngsters take a long time to grow up and get independent. The social structure is such that the parents are very protective about their children well past their adulthood. In fact in India, parents are there for you, as a fall through and an unshakable support, at every step of your life - whether its marriage, children or career. Marriages in India, as most of my Indian friends would agree, are arranged by parents. This trend, though, is changing real fast. These days parents are “more open” to children choosing their own life partners. But the point is parental role takes a huge part in all the stages of our life and would be one of the reasons why a youth in India might mature much later than his counterpart in some parts of the world.

B, told me something very interesting about Germans and about the ways the children are brought up there. In German families, the children are taught to be independent and responsible very early in their life. For eg : If a German teenager ever wanted to smoke – his/her father would not stop her. He would tell him/her the consequences of smoking - but the decision to smoke or not would be entirely left to the individual. That I am sure, would make the children there, completely prepared to take on life when they actually don’t have the parental support later in their life. In India, being "responsible" for your decisions is a realization that comes much later in one's life - I would say sometime in your twenties. Also in the German culture, decisions like marriage, and choosing a life partner, is completely left to the individual. One is supposed to find their partners and be completely responsible about the choice they make about their marriage. Sometimes though, this would leave a few of them searching till very late in their lives.

When B came down to India for work or an assignment, she would find the Indian ways of living a little difficult to digest. She was once teaching in a college at Delhi where one of her favorite students, who was extremely good at her work, wanted to pursue her studies further. But her(the student’s) family insisted on her “settling down” in her life ( read that as – getting married ). B, found it very difficult to understand, how can a fully grown adult , who is mature enough to take her own decisions, not be given the choice she wanted to make in her life – that of pursuing her career.

I remember someone telling me about an interesting way in which the Japanese bring up their children. In a lot of houses in Japan, each child is given a small tree when the child is very small ( may be 3-4 years old ). And this child is given the complete responsibility of bring up this tree. From watering it to taking care of its needs, to cleaning it and protecting it - is the child's responsibility. The child and the tree grow up with each other - with the child who is now an adult, having learnt some very good lessons on responsibility.

I am sure, if we study all the various cultures across the world, we all will find lot of interesting ways in which societies function. But if you look more closely, you will realize that the goal of all the social structures and cultures is just the same - to provide an environment for each and every individual’s mental, social and finally spiritual growth.