Saptapadi !

Marriages are time to bond ! Marriages are time to go glamorous ! Time to serve ! Time to be served ! Time to shop ! Oh ! Time to have fun ! The bride and bridegroom especially go through weeks of beautification , and preparation - all for the that one D-day. Elaborate preparations go through in the families involved and the D - day bears the fruits of all the hard work gone. The funny consequence of this also is that on the D-day the bride, bride-groom and the families are so in the function itself that most of the times, most of us, do not realize what is actually happening in the marriage proceedings. Well, understanding is a little difficult too, coz the rituals, lets talk about hindu rituals for now, happen in a language that is not understood easily by the common public.

Last year I attended the hindu marriage function of my cousin who got married through the Arya Samaj. The best part of a Arya Samaj marriage is that the chants are translated into English, or Hindi, so that the bride , bridegroom and all the people present in the ceremony can understand the rituals that are going on.

One important ritual of our marriage is a ritual called Saptapadi - or the seven vows the couple take as they take seven steps around the sacred pyre. With each step that the bride and the groom take, a vow is uttered. Even though I have been married for long now, I never fully knew what the saptapadi vows say.

This time I actually heard the meaning of the vows and found it pretty interesting to know the depth each of the vow that the couple took. And here are the seven vows that are taken in this ritual -

• The bride and the groom take the first step of the seven vows to pledge that they would provide a prospered living for the household or the family that they would look after .

• During the second step of the seven pheras, the bride and the groom promise that they would develop their physical, mental and spiritual powers in order to lead a lifestyle that would be healthy.

• During the third vow, the couple promises to earn a living and increase by righteous and proper means, so that their materialistic wealth increases manifold.

• While taking the fourth vow, the married couple pledges to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect, understanding and faith.

• The fifth vow is taken to have expand their heredity by having children, for whom, they will be responsible. They also pray to be blessed with healthy, honest and brave children.

• While taking the sixth step around the sacred fire, the bride and the groom pray for self-control of the mind, body and soul and longevity of their marital relationship.
  

• When the bride and the groom take the seventh and the last vow, they promise that they would be true and loyal to each other and would remain companions and best of friends for the lifetime.

These vows are so meaningful and deep - it will take the couple a lifetime of togetherness and companionship trying to live these vows.

I realized nothing can define a marriage the way the Saptapadi vows do.

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Oh ! The Twenties !!

A few days back I was driving around in a crowded market place, when I remembered that I need to buy some medicines. Since it was a crowded market place, I was looking for a place to parking - and finally found a small lane . I parked my car on one side of the already very small lane.

I went about doing my shopping and came back to my car to return home. Now, the real challenge began. I needed to reverse my car in the very small lane. I started the engine to take it forward - when I saw a young girl in her early twenties beginning to park her scooty there. Oh ! ho !

I honked my horn, and gestured to her to move her scooty a little so that I could remove my car - she obliged - and I moved my car forward . I turned my car to the right to start making the U turn. This meant , that the space where I had parked my car earlier was empty now for me to reverse and straighten my car.

To my surprise, this young girl , now turns her scooty and parks it at the very same place that I had parked mine, making impossible for me to reverse now. I felt incredulous. I started laughing at the sudden turn of events. Maybe the girl hadnt realized what she had done. ( I looked around there was no other way I could squeeze my car out ). I honked my car two or three times. My funny predicatement had already attracted the attention of the nearby shop owners - who were watching the fun from the corner of their eye.

Thankfully the girl turned. I ached back from my car and requested the girl to remove her bike from the behind my car. Before I could say anything more - the girl - turns back with a questioning look on her face and says - "What ? you had just now parked the car here na ! Now I will park !! you cant stop me !"

Uh ! With a smile on my lips and mind - I did not know what to say - whether to laugh or to cry ! The shopkeepers around also had a smile of disbelief on their faces. Nobody turned to look at me though - they suddenly seemed very immersed in whatever they were doing .

I couldnt help but laugh at the innocent, funny way that only a youth in her early twenties could think. At twenty, one feels at the top of the world - everything seems with in reach - your self belief looks to be at a all time high. You are out to change the world - and the world looks oh! so topsy-turvy ! The twenties is also a funnily arrogant phase too that way - and sadly one of the main reasons that most of us experience our first failure in life. But the twenties is the twenties - there is no better age than that to be in at that time.

Smiling at the unexpected turn of events I was gifted by this wonderful day , I somehow did manage to U turn my car without waking the girl up from her story and drove on home.

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Love and Fear - Godfather

I just completed reading Godfather and loved it. Like the many other books that I have put up posts on, I would like to bring up a few dialogues that I really loved in this book.

Don Corleone is a underworld don who believes in following his own rules and heart. He does not submit to the Government and helps people who are in trouble.

Luca Brasi is a trusted man in Don Corleone’s regime . He is supposed to be tough and extremely loyal to the Don. The following is a dialogue about Luca Brasi that I found interesting.

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"Luca brasi did not fear the police, he did not fear society, he did not fear God, he did not fear hell, he did not fear or love his fellow man. But he had elected, he had chosen, to fear and love Don Corleone."
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I have two sisters who are close friends to me. The age difference between the two sisters is about seven years. So by the time the elder sister had a son, the younger one was just in college. Since the elder sister used to go to work, she would leave her son at her maternal home with her mother. This meant, that the younger sister had ample time to spend with the kid and the kid had become very close to the aunt. The kid simply adored and loved his aunt.

There was this incident that had happened with the kid when the kid was around 4 years old. One day, the young boy in his mischief, broke a vase at home and would just not apologize for the same to his grandmother. The younger sister watched the dialogues between her mother and the kid for some time. When she saw that the dialogue was moving nowhere, she took the boy with her into one of the study rooms and locked the door. After 5 mins when both of them came out, the boy was seemed subdued and went and apologized to his grandparents.

I was watching all this - and was amazed by the transformation. I raised my eyebrow in surprise at my aunt ( the kid's grandmom ) - asking - how did this happen ! Is he so scared of his aunt ?

His grandmom replied with a smile - No he is not scared of her. He loves her so much and has so much respect for her that no matter what he doesnt want to look bad in her eyes.

I was dazed.

If we look in our lives, there are umpteen people we come across. However there are only a few to who we really look up to and listen to. What makes us surrender to those people so unquestioningly? Force or authority or plead definitely is not a criteria .

On the other hand, there are a few people who trust us unquestioningly and there are some who find it difficult to understand us. Can you really make someone to understand you or follow your instructions ? You can reach out to a person, chide him, or request him, or explain things to him – but he/she will accept it only as much respect and acceptance the person has for you.

As shown in the anecdotes above, a person’s submission to you will be only out of his/her own willingness and respect and love he/she has for you.

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