Ba bye 2010, Welcome 2011

As the year ends, let us take the time out to complete anything that is incomplete about the past year and set our visions for the new year. Hubby and me did just that two days back. And boy oh boy ! did we have an interesting list.

We first sat and wrote down all the things we accomplished in 2010. We looked at our personal accomplishments and our professional ones. We looked at our accomplishments in the areas of interests - like blogging, newsletter, or other hobbies and interests. We looked at our relationships - with our parents, inlaws, friends and family . Once done, I was left with a lot of satisfaction and fulfillment at the accomplishments. I was left with acknowledgments for all my friends, family and near and dear ones. Most importantly I was left with gratitude for Him for giving me the strength, serenity and love to sail through this year. He gave me so much without a second thought. It was time for me to acknowledge the miracles He has caused in my life.

And then we sat and wrote things that we we wanted to do this year and have not done. There were two category of items on that list. There were items that I had taken on - but not had not done much - the reasons could be anything from procrastination to not prioritizing. I took on prioritizing on those activities for the coming year. The surprising part of this list came from items - that seemed so important at the beginning of this year - but because of some new developments in our life - no longer are a priority - so not accomplishing them was ok. Also there were some tasks that one of us was stuck this year. It was a good time to reflect on them together and coach and guide the other - it was a process of learning and growth.

And then we sat and wrote down what we wanted to accomplish this year. The primary focus when we did this was to make this list out of what we enjoyed doing - not out of fixing or correcting something that has not worked for us in the past. Personally I found this very satisfying. Once this list was formed, I noticed that the list comprised of things I loved doing like writing, painting, music, Kruti etc. Personal and professional goals came next.

And last but not the least, we sat together and created what we wanted the 2011 together as a family - we created goals that we both needed to work on together - like investing in something together, doing a Kruti project, a long vacation, our contribution to our parents lives etc.

I am not sure how many of our goals we are going to accomplish - but the thought of living a life that we visualized, sure brings a smile on our faces :)

What are your plans for the new year ? :)

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A friend on the train...

When I was young, long train journeys were much more common than flights. What with flight costs being very expensive and only affordable by the affluent few. The plus side of these long journeys would be that we would get umpteen chances to meet new people and make new friends. These journeys used to be fascinating.

When I started traveling alone, I very naturally started to mix and bond with fellow travellers. I used to study in Gujarat when my dad was working at Delhi - so every vacation, I would make this long one day trip to Delhi in the Nizamuddin express. One of those trips, I remember meeting a young lady in her mid twenties , wearing a bright sky blue colored salwar kameez , having long braided hair, a little tanned skin, wore spectacles and had the most friendly, bright and open-hearted smile. Something about the way she dressed or spoke, made me confused about which part of India she came from. She looked more from the south, but from the way she spoke, she sounded a north indian.

It did not take more than a hello ! to get her to talk - as I already said, her face and smile looked friendly. She told me that she was a Tamil brahmin married to a punjabi sardar. Suddenly everything fell in to place - Her dusky, be spectacled, long haired look along with the very well fit, stylish salwar kameez. Her openness more common in the north Indians than with the south Indians. We got talking quite a bit - me sharing my difficulties of a student life and she sharing how she had initially found it a little difficult to adjust to the extremely open, demonstrative and loud Punjabi husband and in-laws of hers (Being loud and open is a trait that is very un-common with the south Indians :) :) ). I could only laugh heartily imagining the situations that she would be subjected to. We laughed and talked our way to Delhi - exchanged nos. and addresses for sure - but then some friendships that seem so deep on these journeys are eventually forgotten.

Another journey I remember was when I was in Mumbai and again going to Delhi to meet my parents with a group of my office colleagues. I had just known one of the colleagues well, the rest were his friends. But we bonded very well in the journey. I still remember putting on the yellow light in our compartment and singing old hindi-Kishore kumar, Lata mangeshkar and Asha Bhonsale songs late into the night and spending time sharing our life till we reached our destination the next day.

And yet another time, I remember I was going to Mumbai from Gujarat, and I happened to meet a young girl in her late twenties who was a scientist. She seemed a little reserved and an introvert and forever she seemed stuck to a book. It took me a while to befriend her. After a while, we got talking. Among other things that we discussed, she told me about some senior she really liked - and how he was not aware of her interest in him. And also that, her parents were now looking for a groom for her. When we departed at the Mumbai station, I sincerely and earnestly wished her luck to find the right kind of partner for life.

Each of these incidents have happened more than 10 years back – but is amazing how refreshingly clear the details of these memories still stayed on in my mind :)

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Nothing will happen ! :)

Go to any Saibaba temple. There are two words that stand out besides his Godly demeanor and they say 'Shraddha' and 'Saburi' - means 'Trust' and 'Patience'. Two words that could sail you through any situation. Two words that could give you peace of mind no matter what you are going through.

A week back, my husband and I went to a coconut vendor to drink coconut water. As he readied a a fresh coconut for us to drink, I started talking to him. I discovered that he came from a nearby village and he sat on that corner by the roadside to sell coconuts. I asked him if he went back to his village every evening after business hours. He said, no he stayed near by. To which I asked him if he took his pile of 50 - 100 coconuts with him everyday to his local house. He smiled and said - No Madam, I just cover up the pile , push it to one corner of the road and go home for a good peaceful sleep.

I was surprised - I asked him - dont you fear that someone will come and take away all your coconuts ! I mean, you have come all the way, brought all the coconuts from your village, and you leave it just like that on the roadside when you go to sleep.

His peace and balance surprised me again - he said - No madam, noone takes the coconut.. ! Yenu agalla ! ('Nothing will happen !' in kannada )

How many of us trust life like that - trust life like the whole world is one big family - like everyone around is there to support each other and make each other grow. Faced with one or two setbacks, we lose our patience and trust in life and the almighty force above.

I remember an incident when I was in my engineering college that had left an impact on me. My friend had forgotten her engineering board apparatus on the drawing board. The engineering drawing apparatus is a costly set. Buying another set, would be huge dent on anyone's pocket. But it was late night and impossible to go to the college looking for the apparatus.

As we sat on the porch at her house, my friend said something that I never forgot - Dont worry, I know it will be there where I left it. Sleep well .

She said whatever she said, but I had my own doubts.

Giving no more vent to the thoughts, I went on to sleep. The next day morning, though I was anxious, I could only see peace on her face.

Once we reached the college and went to our Engineering Drawing room, what we saw there left me speechless. The apparatus was still lying there untouched.

I am not saying that we do not face incidents that shake our trust. I am not saying that we do not face failures in our life. But is about how much we are able to go beyond, or look beyond our failures, how much we dont let these failures shake our inherent-child-like trust in life, that determine our quality of life.

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He came ... !

There was a bell on my door. I opened it and I saw him. Looked very handsome in a yellow T-shirt, navy blue sleeveless jacket and a khaki color three-fourths. Gave a small smile when he saw me, and then came in as if he knew the house like it was his own. Giving me a coy, confident glance or two, he settled down on the sofa. I smiled back - a warm friendly smile.

Looking around absentmindedly, his glance fell on the pack of polo on the center table. He picked it up and ate one or two of it, by giving me a polite glance and a smile. He asked me about Raghav( my husband ) and went about saying a shy hello to my in laws. I couldn't help smiling at his humility.

Both I or he did not know what to say for a long time - so he picked up the mobile on the center table and started playing Bouncers. He laughed with glee every time the ball jumped up the next obstacle. At one point when he was stuck, he came and sat besides me and urged me to play. There are only few things in your life that make you feel so important.

He kept the key of his car in the pocket of his jacket, with the key-chain hanging out of the pocket. Like a typical guy, he seemed so much in love with his car. And then something seemed different about him yesterday. He had always known Tulu ( his mother tongue ), and English. Yesterday, he was communicating in Hindi and Kannada too. Considering that he had never been exposed to these two languages, I was so proud of him that he could pick up the languages so quickly.

And then, after about an hour of his coming, Raghav came home - he was bashful, excited and happy at the same time. I mean, I have never ever seen such a honest and open display of beautiful emotions!

As he was wearing his shoes and getting ready to leave yesterday after filling all of us at home with joy, he suddenly seemed to remember something important. He removed his shoes and came to each one of us, gave a heart filled hug and a gentle peck on our cheeks and rushed back to his duty.

I have known him since for ever but yesterday was so different. He seemed so much at ease. And the moment he hugged me, my world seemed so complete. I felt so wanted and trusted.

Though he is only four, my nephew filled my world !

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Painting the town red - II

In march this year, I had written a post about how all the public walls in Bangalore have been turned into giant posters by a BBMP initiative. The primary object of this being to avoid people dirtying the public walls by spitting on it or sticking giant posters on them.

While these posters have managed to do their job, one cannot help but admire the sheer beauty of some of the posters. Just check out the set I am putting up in this post.







Arent the pictures too good ?
Also I dont think all the posters have been done by the local artists who do the regular posters. Looking at the lines and cuts of the pictures, I think some of these posters have been done by the students of the local art schools too. I am not sure though.

But either ways - must say - the pictures are a treat !

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Coming for tea ?

There are people who connect with you on different wavelengths. Some connect to your mischievous side , some to your spiritual, some to your fun side, some to your serious side. Some give you the pleasure of being their guide and philosopher and they worship you. Some become your guide.

And then there are some people who have the knack of touching people's lives. For them it doesn't matter who you are - how close you are to them. What matters to them is that everyone should at all times smile. They take extra steps or go beyond the ordinary to reach out and make a difference. These are the kinds who end becoming a universal friend to everyone.

This was around ten years back – I had just started working and everything around was new to me. I had a lot of people at the office, with whom I connected to at various levels. Since I was new to the work environment, a lot of things that were happening around me just did not make sense.

One particular day had been really bad, as I struggled with a tough problem and a difficult boss. I had been in a lousy mood, when one of the guys, a rolly-polly fellow with a colgate smile, from the next cabin walks up to me and calls me for tea. I wasnt in any mood for tea. So I say with a nice smile -Thank you for calling! but sorry, will come later. He says ok, and goes off towards the pantry with a smile on his face, the characteristic spring in his steps and a whistle on his lips. I smile at his happy, carefree gait and get back to my work.

About an hour must have passed by with me still on the issue at hand. I see this guy at my desk again. As I look at him questioningly, he smiles and says - Veena, ready for tea ?

Uh !

A little surprised I say " I dont want tea" irritation showing over my face and my tone. Why did he not understand - this was not the time for tea !

He smiles and says ok ! No issues ! and whistles back to his seat .

After half an hour or so, I see the guy again at my desk. He says - Veena, Get up , lets go for tea !

Damn !

Completely mad at him and my work by now, I look up and almost shout at him - Cant you understand ! I DO NOT WANT TEA !

He looks at me for a while and goes away. I thought I had put the message across this time. Pleased at giving vent to some of my pent up frustration I get back to the problem at hand.

Deep into work, and with no headway still, I hear a kind voice at my back after half an hour or so - Veena, are you done ? Can we go now ?

This time, I could only laugh helplessly.

I lock my computer and take a break with some nice tea and a fruitful conversation. I could only thank this guy for who he was - for going out of the way to bring a smile back on my face, in spite of the fact that he did not know much about me at that time.

This fellow and I kept in touch for a long time even after both he and me quit our jobs – but then somewhere life takes over. I eventually lost touch with this wonderful, warm hearted, playful, fun guy !

Wherever he is, whatever he is doing, I am sure he is touching a lot more lives.

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The Beautiful Kashmiris !

Captivating ! Isnt it !
I recently saw my kashmiri friends dressed for a marriage in their traditional Kashmiri ornaments which prompted me to write this post.

Kashmir is inhabited by people from different communities like the Kashmiri Pandit, Ladakhi and Dogra tribes. This post is more about the dress and ornaments of the Kashmiri women - the muslim inhabitant in Kashmir as well as the Kashmiri Pandit.

This is a picture of an actress in a hindi movie. ( Couldnt find a clearer picture of a Kashmiri lady )


Here are some information on the picture -

Image: Sharmila Tagore in Shakti Samanta's Kashmir Ki Kali (1964). Religion unknown. Most likely a Muslim lady.

Tchand're Taa'che - Moon Headgear. Kashmiri Pandit woman also wear it.

Kan'waaj'e - Ear Rings - Typically worn by the muslim women.

The women are sometimes very handsome. The parda-nashins are, of course, very rarely seen. The men wear a long shirt called firan, which in the case of Hindus has long, narrow sleeves, and Muhammadans short, full ones. The Hindu woman or Punditani wears a girdle and has a white cap, whereas the Mussulman! wears a red head-dress. The black hair of young girls is braided in many thin strands, covering the back and forming a semi-circle, with a knot of hair hanging down the back, and stretching sometimes nearly to the feet.

- John Collett, A Guide for Visitors to Kashmir (1984)Here is a picture of Pandit Nehru's mother - a Kashmiri Pandit lady.

Notice her ear ornaments. The Kashmiri Pandit women wear the Dejharoo, Athroo as a symbol of their marriage - much like the mangal sutra is worn by women in some states of India.

The dejharoo is a pair of gold pendants, hanging on a silk thread or gold chain which passes through holes in the ears pieced at the top end of the lobes. You can read a very good description of the dejhoor over here.

I find the varied culture of the various states in India very fascinating. Some other day , some other post , I might put up something on the dressing of women of some other state.

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Note and Acknowlegement : A lot of information on this post, including the pictures are from this site http://www.searchkashmir.org

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Another day at the boring office !

Work environment are places where some work gets done. Also it’s a place to interact, collaborate, fight, grow, and live! Most of us who are career oriented realize that among the mundane work, the boring bosses and un-understandable rules and regulations of the office, we all get to meet interesting new people with interesting ways of thinking and interesting sense of humour.

I remember one of my friends telling me this anecdote that had happened in his project. BTW, let me tell you that I have been a software engineer all my life.

And this particular project of his had not been keeping well for almost years. They had a young, fun-loving boss, who took care of a team of 40 noisy, cheerful, sharp youngsters who, in between their wise cracks and silly jokes and endless leg pullings, just managed to keep the project alive. All the old team members, who had actually created the product, had left the team resigned about the saleability of the product. Everyone in the company knew the product was outdated and no amount of customization would help the product.

Once in a while when there would be a client visit to check out this product and the young boys and girls would somehow manage to tailor the product, wash it up, dress it and comb it and get it ready to showcase like a beautiful young bride. And once in a while when the bride just did not dress up or look presentable, the team would be left frustrated( they would wonder when this product would be obsoleted ) - like on this particular day, this very young talented youngster, lets say-Krish, got fed up and gave up on the product. After working day and night on the product for two weeks, with not much progress, he decided he did not want to work on this stupid product and went home on a two day leave.

The manager came the next day and saw there was no one working on the product demo scheduled for the next day. Also, he heard that Krish had gone home in a huff on a two day leave. Shaking his head helplessly with a smile, praying to God to give him the strength and humor to handle the situation, he sent his car to pick this funny boy up from his house.

Krish couldnt have had a worse nightmare.

He changed into a clean pair of clothes and grumpily sat in his boss's car.

When Krish reached office, the whole team and his boss were at the door were waiting for him at the door, with a mischievous smile on their faces. Well, they just needed to have a pooja thali to welcome him, he thought silently in his mind, keeping his gaze awry.

The boss, notices the boy's looks, his disheveled hair, his unshaven beard ( the boy had not taken care of himself for the last two weeks ) , tells him - Boy, Where were you ? This product needs to be readied. You are the best person we have !

Giving the boy another look, he says with a smile- Also what are you doing to yourself. Take care of yourself –its high time you shaved your beard !!

The Boy already tired of the funny boss and the product and the non fruitful work he was doing and thinking about the product that was waiting for him with a defiant mocking smile, nonchalantly replies –

Uh ! The product - will see what I can do.

He looks up from the product and looks at his boss’s face, looks back at the product, and says with a mischievous smile – Well! The beard - cannot be shaved off now - Only trimmed and shaped - will do my best though.

The boss chuckles at the joke and leaves the boy to complete his job.

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Dodda..

Words fail me as I try to describe my grand mom. Let me try and put down my earliest memories of her. Imagine a house like I have described here.

In this house,On the left side of the house lived my grand mom ( with my grandpa when he was alive ) and her children ( before they were married ) and on the right side lived my grandpa's brother and his family.

After the long trek home when we reached our house, we would be greeted with a huge exclamation, heartfelt happiness of both the set of grandparents. As we would settle down, we would be served breakfast by my grandmom. She was our loving Dodda.

With a smile on her face and grit and determination as she carried herself through the house maneuvering her arthritis infected legs, she ordered the workers around and got her work done. She knew her neighbors well and she was well in control of her environment.

Life when the children were growing up must have been tough - Grand pa was a Yakshagana artist and would be on tour for months together. Taking care of the household and the children alone , even though my other grandpa was around, must have been tough for her.

The last few years of her life , she stayed with her children - 2-3 months at a stretch she would stay with each of her children. The best part of her was the way she would blend herself into the culture of the family and become an asset to the house. She had an excellent memory and learnt like a child. She knew the names of all the cricketers - Indian, Australian and a few from other countries by name and loved watching cricket matches. She recognised models and could tell a Aishwarya Rai and a Sushmita Sen. She knew where each of her grandchildren lived ( US, Australia or parts of India ) and where they worked ( Wipro, Infosys etc. ) .

She would spend time watching her favorite kannada serials. She had a great sense of humour and would laugh like a child at any joke. She was 85 this year.

Last few months had been tough for her. She had had strokes in her head which would leave her immobile for a few days - but then she would recover. But this time she decided to move on to the other world. On the next day of Diwali, she suffered another stroke - and was hospitalized. And somehow at the back of everyone's minds and hearts, as well as her own heart, I guess she knew her job in this world is done - and I am sure she proud of who she had been and how she had carried herself. On Tuesday morning, she had a heart attack and passed away peacefully in her bed.

Its hard to believe that the silent, strong, child-like presence Dodda had at my parents or my aunt’s houses will not be around anymore - It has been tough even typing that up. Dodda, I will always miss you for the respect, determination, and dignity with which you carried yourself and when I am at your age – one thing that I am going to strive at - is to live a life of dignity the way you have.

Once again , Dodda we will miss you !

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Splashes of Colours ...

When we had visited Ooty about two years back, we had been to this fascinating church called the St. Stephen's church, perched on one of the hills there.


There were many things that were beautiful in this church, but the one thing that really caught my eye were the glass paintings on the windows. I have always found glass paintings fascinating - coz the paintings look more beautiful when light passes through them and enlivens the paintings. Check them out..


I know these paintings would be depicting a scene out of Jesus's life. How I wish I knew what these paintings are saying...

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Saptapadi !

Marriages are time to bond ! Marriages are time to go glamorous ! Time to serve ! Time to be served ! Time to shop ! Oh ! Time to have fun ! The bride and bridegroom especially go through weeks of beautification , and preparation - all for the that one D-day. Elaborate preparations go through in the families involved and the D - day bears the fruits of all the hard work gone. The funny consequence of this also is that on the D-day the bride, bride-groom and the families are so in the function itself that most of the times, most of us, do not realize what is actually happening in the marriage proceedings. Well, understanding is a little difficult too, coz the rituals, lets talk about hindu rituals for now, happen in a language that is not understood easily by the common public.

Last year I attended the hindu marriage function of my cousin who got married through the Arya Samaj. The best part of a Arya Samaj marriage is that the chants are translated into English, or Hindi, so that the bride , bridegroom and all the people present in the ceremony can understand the rituals that are going on.

One important ritual of our marriage is a ritual called Saptapadi - or the seven vows the couple take as they take seven steps around the sacred pyre. With each step that the bride and the groom take, a vow is uttered. Even though I have been married for long now, I never fully knew what the saptapadi vows say.

This time I actually heard the meaning of the vows and found it pretty interesting to know the depth each of the vow that the couple took. And here are the seven vows that are taken in this ritual -

• The bride and the groom take the first step of the seven vows to pledge that they would provide a prospered living for the household or the family that they would look after .

• During the second step of the seven pheras, the bride and the groom promise that they would develop their physical, mental and spiritual powers in order to lead a lifestyle that would be healthy.

• During the third vow, the couple promises to earn a living and increase by righteous and proper means, so that their materialistic wealth increases manifold.

• While taking the fourth vow, the married couple pledges to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect, understanding and faith.

• The fifth vow is taken to have expand their heredity by having children, for whom, they will be responsible. They also pray to be blessed with healthy, honest and brave children.

• While taking the sixth step around the sacred fire, the bride and the groom pray for self-control of the mind, body and soul and longevity of their marital relationship.
  

• When the bride and the groom take the seventh and the last vow, they promise that they would be true and loyal to each other and would remain companions and best of friends for the lifetime.

These vows are so meaningful and deep - it will take the couple a lifetime of togetherness and companionship trying to live these vows.

I realized nothing can define a marriage the way the Saptapadi vows do.

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Oh ! The Twenties !!

A few days back I was driving around in a crowded market place, when I remembered that I need to buy some medicines. Since it was a crowded market place, I was looking for a place to parking - and finally found a small lane . I parked my car on one side of the already very small lane.

I went about doing my shopping and came back to my car to return home. Now, the real challenge began. I needed to reverse my car in the very small lane. I started the engine to take it forward - when I saw a young girl in her early twenties beginning to park her scooty there. Oh ! ho !

I honked my horn, and gestured to her to move her scooty a little so that I could remove my car - she obliged - and I moved my car forward . I turned my car to the right to start making the U turn. This meant , that the space where I had parked my car earlier was empty now for me to reverse and straighten my car.

To my surprise, this young girl , now turns her scooty and parks it at the very same place that I had parked mine, making impossible for me to reverse now. I felt incredulous. I started laughing at the sudden turn of events. Maybe the girl hadnt realized what she had done. ( I looked around there was no other way I could squeeze my car out ). I honked my car two or three times. My funny predicatement had already attracted the attention of the nearby shop owners - who were watching the fun from the corner of their eye.

Thankfully the girl turned. I ached back from my car and requested the girl to remove her bike from the behind my car. Before I could say anything more - the girl - turns back with a questioning look on her face and says - "What ? you had just now parked the car here na ! Now I will park !! you cant stop me !"

Uh ! With a smile on my lips and mind - I did not know what to say - whether to laugh or to cry ! The shopkeepers around also had a smile of disbelief on their faces. Nobody turned to look at me though - they suddenly seemed very immersed in whatever they were doing .

I couldnt help but laugh at the innocent, funny way that only a youth in her early twenties could think. At twenty, one feels at the top of the world - everything seems with in reach - your self belief looks to be at a all time high. You are out to change the world - and the world looks oh! so topsy-turvy ! The twenties is also a funnily arrogant phase too that way - and sadly one of the main reasons that most of us experience our first failure in life. But the twenties is the twenties - there is no better age than that to be in at that time.

Smiling at the unexpected turn of events I was gifted by this wonderful day , I somehow did manage to U turn my car without waking the girl up from her story and drove on home.

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Love and Fear - Godfather

I just completed reading Godfather and loved it. Like the many other books that I have put up posts on, I would like to bring up a few dialogues that I really loved in this book.

Don Corleone is a underworld don who believes in following his own rules and heart. He does not submit to the Government and helps people who are in trouble.

Luca Brasi is a trusted man in Don Corleone’s regime . He is supposed to be tough and extremely loyal to the Don. The following is a dialogue about Luca Brasi that I found interesting.

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"Luca brasi did not fear the police, he did not fear society, he did not fear God, he did not fear hell, he did not fear or love his fellow man. But he had elected, he had chosen, to fear and love Don Corleone."
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I have two sisters who are close friends to me. The age difference between the two sisters is about seven years. So by the time the elder sister had a son, the younger one was just in college. Since the elder sister used to go to work, she would leave her son at her maternal home with her mother. This meant, that the younger sister had ample time to spend with the kid and the kid had become very close to the aunt. The kid simply adored and loved his aunt.

There was this incident that had happened with the kid when the kid was around 4 years old. One day, the young boy in his mischief, broke a vase at home and would just not apologize for the same to his grandmother. The younger sister watched the dialogues between her mother and the kid for some time. When she saw that the dialogue was moving nowhere, she took the boy with her into one of the study rooms and locked the door. After 5 mins when both of them came out, the boy was seemed subdued and went and apologized to his grandparents.

I was watching all this - and was amazed by the transformation. I raised my eyebrow in surprise at my aunt ( the kid's grandmom ) - asking - how did this happen ! Is he so scared of his aunt ?

His grandmom replied with a smile - No he is not scared of her. He loves her so much and has so much respect for her that no matter what he doesnt want to look bad in her eyes.

I was dazed.

If we look in our lives, there are umpteen people we come across. However there are only a few to who we really look up to and listen to. What makes us surrender to those people so unquestioningly? Force or authority or plead definitely is not a criteria .

On the other hand, there are a few people who trust us unquestioningly and there are some who find it difficult to understand us. Can you really make someone to understand you or follow your instructions ? You can reach out to a person, chide him, or request him, or explain things to him – but he/she will accept it only as much respect and acceptance the person has for you.

As shown in the anecdotes above, a person’s submission to you will be only out of his/her own willingness and respect and love he/she has for you.

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What is religion after all ?

Last week we had the Ayodhya verdict and with that the whole of India was bracing themselves up against any riots that could result out of the verdict.

The issues that were under verdict were the ones mentioned below :

1. It is being claimed by the Hindus that the disputed site was the birth place of Lord Rama. The court has to decided if it was really so.
2. The court is also to decide if a Hindu temple was demolished at the place where the Babri Masjid now stands. If yes, then when was it built?
3. It is also believed that a section of the Hindus placed the idols of Lord Rama in the mosque in the night of 23rd December, 1949. The court needs to authenticate the facts in this regard as well.

When I read those issues, I was surprised - are we really waiting a verdict on those issues ? Does it really matter if there was a Ram Idol placed in the mosque some 50 years back and if the mosque was built on a demolished temple some 500 years back. Does it really matter whether a mosque or a temple is built on the disputed site ?

Which made me think on the all pervasive question - What is religion ? Religion provides the guidance and support for each and every person to identify with all good around. It provides a platform for each individual to grow and contribute to the society. Religion is a pathway for progress of mankind and not a cause for divide and riots.

Look at this video that shows the interviews of the people of Ayodhya on the Babri masjid issue -



When I saw this video I was so happy , because it was clear that the the general public mostly wants peace and progress . The whole issue of the mandir and masjid looks like a controversy raked up by a few people for their general benefit.

Wish those few people realized what is written in the poem below -
Mandir to ban jaayega Par Ram kahan se laaoge?
Uss masjid ki deewaron ko Kya pak kabhi kar paaoge?
Jis chaukhat par log jale Ram wahan na jaayenge
Jin galiyaron mein khoon gira Maula kya reh paayenge?

( Courtesy -an article in TOI )

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Media Justice - Is it justified ?

Check this video out from 5.20 mins onwards. One of the singer in a popular singing show 2010 contest is talking about her divorce case and how she went through torture through out her marriage.

Over here whatever she is going through does look genuine and she does seem to have gone through a lot of pain. However, the point of the post is about the media attention that she is getting from viewers all over the country.

This video shows all the viewers lashing out on whatever she has gone through and giving her their full support. I have no problems with that. But my only contention is , have the zee guys atleast done some kind of investigation about whatever has happened in her life. I am not saying that she is being inauthentic or untrue - But all said and done, this story is "one-sided".

Again, do the media realize the impact of whatever they are doing. After this show, what will be the reputation of the lady's husband? Will he be ever able to show his face to anyone in his society. This treatment will be justified if he was guilty - but have the media done enough investigation to validate this story ?

Sometimes, these days, I, and I am sure most of us, get frustrated by the media and glamorization of news that is shown. Just to increase their viewership, the media doesn’t hesitate to show any piece of news without sufficient investigation. Somewhere, sometimes, I feel the whole angle of showing a piece of news responsibly is missing.

Even regarding the common wealth games – I thought the media had found a scape goat for their media requirements in Kalmadi and kept bashing him on all the channels. For days, when the media was showing the bad state of affairs, I kept turning the newspaper pages to see what are the corrective measures taken – how are we going to handle the mess – and for most days I found none of it. I mean – what is more important – the corrective actions – or finding out who is to blame.

I wish sometimes, that the media understand the reach and the impact they have on the general public. Making or breaking an event or a person is in their hands – and I do hope they use it more responsibly.

And how I wish the “media glamorization” would just come to an end.

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