Nishka's park friends

My daughter Nishka, who is 14 months old now, is a very social person. She enjoys going out in the parks or malls and calling out to people. Invariably there are a few people who 'ooh' and 'aah' over her and she revels in the attention. Of-late she has been making friends in the apartment too.

A few months back (which means when my daughter had just turned one year old,) my husband's three young cousins (girls in their early twenties) took her for an early morning walk. When girls came back, the little one was in one of the girl's hands and was holding a huge bunch of bananas with both her hands. The girls couldn’t stop laughing narrating what had happened. Apparently an old ajja (an old man around 70 years of age) was going home holding a walking stick in one hand and a bunch of bananas and a newspaper in the other. The little one on seeing the bananas got excited and started pointing towards the bananas and squealing loudly. The old man couldn’t help melt at the little one's gestures and gave away the whole bunch to her and blessed her as he went his way.

On another day, I heard a ting-tong on my house bell. I knew my daughter and Kamala, her caretaker were back home from their walk. I opened the door quickly to take Nishka in my arms, only to hear Kamala point the house to someone and tell her, "Ide mane, Ide mane" (This is the house.) Curious, I looked behind her to see an old rolly-polly lady (around 65 years of age) wearing a worn out old white flowery salwar kameez and a white dupatta, hurriedly limping her way out of the lift. Looking at me, she said excitedly in a Punjabi accented Hindi, "Mein dekhne aayi.. mein dekhne aayi ye ladki kahan rehti hai.. mujhe roz 'hi, bye' karti hai. Aaj tho maine soch liya.. mujhe dekhna hai iska ghar."(I came to see where this girl lives. She waves me a ‘hi and bye’ everyday. Today I decided I need to see where she lives.) And then she relaxed and told me, "Bohut pyaari bacchi hai. God bless"(She is a very cute kid. God Bless.) And she smiled her way back into the lift. I smiled back to the old lady. I could hear the little one blowing ‘flying kisses’ to her behind my back.

Unknown people come and wish Nishka when we (my husband, Nishka and I) go on our evening walk these days. They say ‘hi’ to her and have a little conversation her and she responds back in her baby language. It is really nice to see my little one forming her set of friends.

As for my husband and me, we are now grappling with a new identity, ‘Nishka’s daddy’ and ‘Nishka’s mummy.’

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Ankush's mom

I was cooking in the kitchen, when I could hear a "huuunnnnh..muummmy... muummmy..huuuunnnnh "

I was curious. So I put off the gas and opened the main door. Ankush, the five year old child next door, was crying and banging at his house's door. I found it strange and thought maybe his mother did not know he was waiting outside. I was about to go to help him, when Ankush's door opened suddenly. His mother came out and said, "Will you be naughty again?"

“Mamma please let me in ... please...” he sobbed.

“Tell me will you be naughty? I will not let you in unless you answer that question.” she asked again.

“I am sorry mama. I will not be naughty…” he answered between his sobs.

By then, doors of two more houses had opened. People from those houses were sneaking to see what was happening and when they did see, tried hard to ignore the mother and son interaction.

I was pretty agitated internally.

I remembered something that had happened to me when I was around five years of age. I had just started going to school. I had lost a very important notebook of mine. When dad came home I couldn’t hand over the book to him when he asked for it. Dad had got really angry and scolded me for being careless. I remember the helplessness that I had felt in the situation. Also I did not even know what “being careless” meant. All I cared about was that I had made my daddy so upset by my “carelessness”. And I knew that I did not want that to happen again. I felt that helplessness again at that moment.

“I love you mama,” I heard Ankush say to his mother. I looked up to see Ankush and his mom hugging each other. His mom was saying, “I love you too. I am sorry for scolding you beta. But why are you so naughty?” Ankush hid his face in his mother’s arms and fell asleep.

All of us closed our doors behind us. I picked up the morning newspaper and tried to put the incident behind me.

With a cup of tea in my hand and a sigh in my heart, I wondered, was Ankush’s mom’s reprimand successful in making Ankush realize what he had done wrong?

I wondered if Ankush even understood what he was getting punished for. 

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The thousand rupee note

"The management committee in our Netaji Subhash Chandra Government School, has decided to give a special prize this year. It is called "Special award" and will reward a extraordinary act done by a child. This year the award goes to eight year old Ananya. I would like to call Ananya's teacher to relate to you all what was the special act done by her," said our beautiful short motherly principal madam on the annual day function of our school. Of all the teachers in our school, the principal madam was the kindest.

"I am very happy to share Ananya's story with all of you," said Alka madam, our young, fair, tall class teacher, with a beatific smile on her face. Alka madam was wearing my favorite stiff white saree which had a blue lace on its border and small blue flowers on it. Her straight long hair reached her waist and was neatly combed and tied into a pony with a flowery clip. She looked taller and prettier than usual. She continued, "One fine afternoon Ananya returned from the playground, where she had gone in the Physical education period and came running up to me. She had a shining pink coloured pencil in one of her hands and  a "thousand rupee note" in the other.”

She paused for a second before she continued, “She gave me the note saying, she did not want it to be trampled by students walking and running over it. I was so proud of her honesty. I immediately nominated her for this award."

Alka madam then searched for me in the crowd and once she spotted me gave me a big smile. I smiled back. 

"Ananya's parents - Can you please come on the stage with Ananya?" 

I heard the thunderous applause as I went up the stage with my parents. I definitely seemed to have done something right.

After the function were the snacks. Rasgollas, pasteries and sandwiches lured me from various counters. It was my day. Ma and Babuji were ready to give me anything I asked. All the uncles, aunties and teachers looked at me with amazement as I walked and ran across the school campus. Ma was a sweeper in one of those big IT companies near our house and Babuji, a mechanic.

I looked for Bhaiyya who was eight years elder to me and studied in the twelfth standard. Bhaiyya was my friend, philosopher and guide. He was always cleanly dressed and the silent humility in his nature brought an extra glow on his face. He was the wise one in our house and supported and comforted our parents whenever they were in difficulty. When he was not at school, he was with my dad at his mechanic shop oiling or tinkering a few machines. He was my window into the world I did not understand. When I was not playing with friends, I tagged along with Bhaiyya on his old bicycle.

On some Sundays, Bhaiyya would take me on long rides on his bicycle. Together we would go into the unexplored areas of our city. We would go to the hidden lakes and unexplored forest areas behind our house. On our way back, we would always have a plate of ‘pani puri’.

"Anu! Anu!!" the familiar call of my brother snapped me out of my thoughts. I turned and rushed into my brother's open arms. My brother hugged me a congratulations. And then we made our way back home.

I sat on the pillion seat of Bhaiyya's bicycle as usual. That day Bhaiyya was walking with the bicycle instead of riding it. We were passing through a small road in a small residential area, when he turned towards me and said with a voice chocked with pride, "I am so proud of you Anu...” I continued licking the icecream which we had bought just a minute back.

When he did not hear a response from me, he turned a little more to face me directly and with eyes full of love said, “I am talking about the thousand rupee note incident..."

So many people had wished me by now. And now Bhaiyya too…I did not understand how to react...

So I asked him...."But Bhaiyya...I don't know what is all the excitement about..."

"I did not want a child to get scolded for losing a thousand rupee note the way mom scolded me last time when I lost a hundred rupee note.That was why I returned the note to madam." I paused for a while and lowered my voice and said,

"Honestly if it had been a twenty rupees, I might have taken Sahira with me and bought the both of us a huge bar of Dairy Milk Chocolate."

"What use is a thousand rupee note to me?"


And then I got back to licking my icecream. After I had gulped in a huge lump, I asked Bhaiyya to stop walking.I then turned him with one of my free hands and looked at him curiously and asked,

"Tell me Bhaiyya, what can I do with a thousand rupee note?"

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My first entrepreneurship -The library

When was the first time you created something, ran it as a business, had costumers and made a revenue. No.. I am not talking about the business you ran after you graduated from college..No.. Not that.. Go a little back... It could be games stall you could have put up in the annual school fair or some services you could have provided for which you would have earned money, way back when you were in school.

The one I started was when I was around 8 years old and even today it brings a smile on my face when I remember it.

It was a library that we had started.

One evening as I was playing on the terrace of a friend's home, I overheard her mother share with another aunty that the children in a nearby colony had started a library. In my mind I thought, “We too have a lot of books…”

We did read a lot - my brother, especially, was known for his interest in reading and we had a huge collection of Amar Chitra Kathas(ACK) at home. Brother read the ACKs and I read the Twinkles:) And of course, there would be the odd chacha choudaris or Phantoms or an Alice in Wonderlands. “But yes! We did have books!” I thought as I slept that night.

The next day, I woke up with a plan in my mind.

I needed a team :D and I spoke to my brother and the two next door neighbourhood girls and enrolled them in to the idea of starting the library.

We put all our story books together and made a collection of about 25 books - not bad at all to start a library. And then we looked for a big bath tub.

Why did I need a bath tub? Because my friend's mother had mentioned that those children had kept their books in bath tubs. So of course, we needed a bath tub to keep our books.

We finally found two huge bath tubs in my neighbour's house and borrowed it. We placed the books in the bath tub – we placed the books vertically and then placed them horizontally and then placed them against the bath tub sides – but the books just wouldn’t stay. Finally, after some juggling, we did find an arrangement to display the books. We fixed a membership fee at two rupees per person.

The next thing we needed to do was marketing - so we made small handwritten pamplets and went to each of our friends house to distribute them. The aunties there seemed to be curious and amused at our idea. Some of them seemed incredulous. Well, it was embarrassing - but we went about our duties. In the silent moments I would have in between setting up a library, I would silently wonder though - what was the incredulous look about. :D

The library started the next day – two bath tubs and twenty five books. Five friends came in and enrolled into the library. The library was operational! We had started with zero investment and we had made ten rupees too!

Now the big question, what could we do with the ten rupees? So we discussed and bought two new amar chitra kathas.

At the start of day 2 we had two new amar chitra kathas and more curiosities from some more aunties.

Not knowing what more to do with the library and not able to handle the curious attention, we sat together at the end of day 3 to decide the fate and future of our library.

And here was what we decided - The two new ACKs would go to the neighbourhood girls who had contributed their books. The tubs would go back to its rightful owner. We would ensure that the borrowed books would be returned back to the library and we would close down our first successful venture.

What was your first entrepreneurship ? :)

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Mother

This week's post is very special to me since it has been written by my mother in law. She lost her 87 year old mother a few days back and she wrote this post as a tribute to her. My mother in law has studied in the marathi medium school and has studied till the 10th standard. Whatever knowledge she has today( including this writing in english) is what she has learnt out of her own interest and quest for learning.

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Have you seen the picture "Mother India"? Every mother treats her children like that mother. These days children have no patience and don’t understand their Janamdata( the person who has given birth to them). They especially don’t understand their mother's feelings.

My beloved mother is no more. She expired on the 18th of December 2011. She loved us a lot.

My mother ! Oh ! My mother ! She was love and happiness itself. She was a teacher but she loved her children like their mother.

I was in the second standard and my class teacher was my Aai( I used to call my mother as Aai, which stands for mother in Marathi ). Those days annual examination was held by AEO( Assistant Education Officer ). That year, I got the first rank. My mother told the headmistress that "Good that my daughter got first rank in an examination conducted by the AEO. If I had conducted the exam and my daughter would have got first rank, people would have teased me." This incident taught me that I should not make a difference between my own people and others.

She had gone through many difficulties in life but she never grumbled. She never complained.

Those days most women had a lot of gold jewellery. My mother too had more than 5000 grams of gold ornaments. She lost all the jewellery to handle family problems. But she never uttered a word about it. She lived her life like any other person. What a wonderful personality my mom was! I have always been very impressed by this character of my mother. From this I learned that we should not be attached to material things.

I was in my fifth standard. I wanted to participate in the Nishani drill in which I was supposed to be holding a small national flag. I needed to wear a white dress while doing the drill. My Aai did not have enough money to buy me a white frock but my little mind could not understand her problems. I would cling on to her pallu and be after her about wanting the dress. She would always provide me for my needs, even though she would later struggle to manage the household expenditure.

She studied in the teachers training college in 1950s. There in one of the functions she sung a song in Marathi

Mana mi Kiti tuz shikavoo re

Ram smarawa ghadi ghadiss Ram smarava re

Mana mi kiti tuz shivavoo re

Saandooni Sukh he smaran hariche

Fukat kal ka davadi re

Mana mi…

Durlabha nar tan jaayeel jevha

Kay karil dhan raashi re..

Mana mi…

Patit pavan prabhoo hari smarata

Jashil moksha padhala re..

Mana mi…

( Oh! Mind! How many times should I guide you?

Remember Ram moment to moment.. .

Oh! Mind! How many times should I guide you?

You lose the happiness of remember God

By wasting your time in useless activities

Oh! Mind!…

The human body that you value so much, will be soon gone,

What will you do of your wealth then,

Oh! Mind!...

All your sins will be washed away if you remember God

You will attain moksha(salvation),

Oh! Mind!...)

She lived like this song. With this writing, I am doing a "Aakhri Salam" to my mother.

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The lilliput world....

Ting Tong , ting tong ... rang the door bell.

A trifle irritated at the loud ringing, my annoyance turned into a smile when I saw the playful, cute five year old boy dressed in a parrot green shirt and beige colored pant waiting patiently.

The next door boy Sunny was at the door with a green sling bag on his back.

He returned my welcoming smile. Acknowledging my raised eyebrow at the sling bag, he said, “Oh .. ! I got toys to play with Nishka... !” His eyes searched behind my back, trying to find my seven month old daughter.

He spotted her cooing to herself on the mat in our drawing hall and he rushed past me and settled himself down on the mat besides her. Before she had a chance, all the toys in his bag were out. He showed her the new red colour bike, and the green colour drum. But the toy that was his favorite very obviously was the big yellow color bus. It had a honk and a smartly dressed driver.

The bus fascinated Nishka too and he watched intently she took bus from his grasp and admired the it holding it with both her hands. She looked at the front of the bus, and turned it and looked at the back. And she turned it again to see the front. All the while Sunny silently watched her.

A minute or so later, he turned to me and with innocent eyes, a voice full of concern said, “Aunty, can you ask Nishka to be careful… !”

I was mighty pleased at the chivalry and the concern. Feeling all good, I told him lovingly, “ You only tell her na… She will listen to you…”

I continued to watch him to see how he would convey himself.

He turned back to the little one, and with a face all serious said, “Nishka, please be careful….. "

And then he bent a little over the little one and with a face little more grim said, "Please be careful Nishka....... else the bus will breeeaaaak… !”

I quickly turned back to my book to hide the amusement on my face !

The 12 year old brother and the five year old sister were fighting for the possession of a calculator. Both of them wanted to hold it and play with it.

After a ten minute unsuccessful cajoling, requesting, threatening the twelve year old looked like he had given up as he left his sister alone and sat on the window, watching the bikes go by on the road below.

I was watching the light bantering between the children of a dear friend as I lazed on my easy chair reading a book.

I thought the argument was over and turned my mind back to my book.

A little while later, I saw the brother leaving the window and going back to his sister.

With twinkle in his eyes and a mischief all written on his face, he told his little sister, "Look I am going to type '5 * 5'… If the display shows 25… the calculator is mine… If it shows any other no it is yours… !"

I did not need to hear more.

Just two minutes later, I could hear the little girl complain to her mother, "Ma… Brother is doing some cheating…. For some reason when he types 5 * 5.. only 25 comes… !!"

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Innocence... where has it all gone.. ?

The innocence of a child is one of the most beautiful miracles of life. Only a child who has no knowledge of the world, and who thinks you do, can question you the way they do and think of possibilities that in our world seem so impossible.

Makes me wonder- what happens to us once we grow up? Where do we lose our child-like innocence ? Wonder why do we end up thinking that we "know" everything ? Wonder why do we end up thinking that we know - "whats right" , "whats wrong", "what works" , "what doesnt" ? Wonder when and where do we lose our curiosity and the silly inquisitiveness that we had in abundance as a child ?

I had been to my friend's place on a Ganesh Chaturti. The whole family was getting ready for the morning pooja. The pooja room, next to the kitchen was fully decorated and my friend's mother seemed to be in control of the situation in the house. She was instructing all of us on what to do and what not to do. I was given a special task too. I was given a pile of thin, long grass blades and asked to make smaller piles of 5 grass blades each. She asked me to make some 21 piles of them.

It was a simple and long task. So I asked my friend's 5 year old daughter to sit along with me and help me out. She readily agreed. So chatting and playing along in one of the bedrooms, both of us set about doing the smaller piles of grass blades. When we were about 15 piles done, the original pile of blades of grass was almost getting over.

So, pointing in the direction of the kitchen, I told my friend's daughter - Could you go and find out if this many smaller piles are enough for pooja ?

The girl, for some reason seemed amazed and surprised at the task. With a child like curiosity, she looked at me with big round eyes and says - Sachchi ? ( Meaning - "Really?" in english ).

One cant always tell what amazes a child - so I did not bother too much about it - I was only pleased to be part of her amazement and replied with a nice smile - Sachchchchi ! ( Reaaaaally ! )

She seemed happy about the task given to her. She got up, picked up the plate on which we were working and walked towards the direction of the kitchen - but as she was nearing the kitchen - she took the diversion towards the pooja room.

Uh ! I could see that there was no one in the pooja room. So I was curious as to what was she up to.

I followed her and once inside the pooja room, I asked her kindly with a smile- what are you doing here ?

She seemed surprised. Defiant and slightly surprised, she replied with a question mark on her face - You only told me to ask na ! I have come to ask .

My turn to be amused now . I asked her lovingly - There is no one here. Whom are you going to ask ?

What she said next left me with utter surprise and overwhelming love. With an embarrassed but beautiful smile on her face, she looks at me and says- I have come to ask God if these piles of blades are enough !

I did not know what to say for some time. Apparently, when I had been pointing towards the kitchen, she had thought that I was pointing to God's room.

I was totally stumped.

Took me a whole minute to recover back but when I did - I could only smile at her and envelop her in a huge bear hug.

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Truck loads of sand has come in ! :)

Parenting I guess is the best part of anyone's life. Bringing up a child, answering its umpteen questions and satisfying its undying curiosity I am sure is a beautiful phase and blessing in any adult's life. I have a four year old nephew, who thankfully stays very near to my house - giving me the liberty to go and visit him as and when I want to. The day I do meet him, my mind is full of all the funny expressions, antics and questions that the boy would have put in front of us. Bliss ! :)

Coming back to my own childhood, if there is any part of my life that I have completely and thoroughly enjoyed - any part that I would like to relieve - and do so without a second thought - it would have to be my childhood. I guess I have enjoyed every second of being a child - the love, the fights, the reprimands, the friendships, the playing, the studying, the mischief - everything! EVERYTHING!

As a child the only aim I had in life was to make friends and play. Ok! Studies were important too..! But play was much more critical :P And then to go with it - I had a dozens of like minded cousin brothers and sisters and uncles and aunties who would go the extra mile to ensure that we were always having fun.

I guess the role of fun minded adults, parents and family is critical in the growth of a child. The willingness and encouragement to let a child experiment with anything and everything and being there to support the child when the child has had a bad experience is instrumental. I was allowed to climb trees, fall, play in sand and mud- my hair was always unruffled and dresses always a mess! When I was around 5-6 years old we lived in an apartment in Mumbai. And very close by there was a new building that was under construction!

Do you know what that means to a child? :) Shiny, glazy, colorful and beautifully patterned, broken pieces of bathroom tiles to collect and play with - red shiny bricks to construct play houses - and loads and loads of sand and mud to dig and make caves! One night as I stood in the dark, on the balcony of my third floor house, I saw two trucks with loads of sand and bricks coming in. Hmm! interesting! I thought with a smile.

Early Morning the next day, to my pleasant surprise I had a friend, around 3 years older, who had come to spend time with me the whole day. After the initial pleasantries, I called her to play! I still remember - as soon as she said yes to play - I could not contain myself any longer- I told her with a big smile on my face and with my eager eyes full of childish excitement- Great! There is a truck load of sand that has come the previous night - we could go and get ourselves submerged in the sand ! I was all excited when I said that and once I had finished I realized there was absolute silence on the other side. The girl had not responded. When I turned back to look at her - I still remember the look of stupefied shock on her face. The girl’s mouth was now open in astonishment and with big round eyes on her face – she almost seemed to say "Have you gone out of your mind ! ", "How disgusting!".

Uh !

My smile vanished and there was only cautious bewilderment written all over my face now. A little embarrassed I shut up and played with “safe toys” like dolls with her for the rest of the day.

Secretly I was thinking -What a waste ! :)

The next day, I went and played on sand to my heart's content ! :)

When my nephew was born, one thing I kept threatening my sister in law is that I was waiting for my nephew to grow up so that he could experience the bliss of being friends with sand and mud. ( I am not mentioning my sister in law’s reaction to that :) ). And now that I am waiting for my own little one – I definitely know what playthings would my kid would itch to set its hands on ! :)

Waiting for you - little one ! :)

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