If they can, why cant we?

I recently joined work with Infosys at their "Electronic City" campus. The campus today is arguably one of the most beautiful campuses in India. Most of the buildings are 3 floored, pale coloured, subtle and are located in a lush green campus interspersed with ponds and fountains. There are trees of various kinds and a variety of insect and bird species prop up from all places in the garden.

There are fishes in the ponds, sunbirds, kingfishers peeking at you from the tall bamboo trees, chameleons of all colors playing "spot me if you can" from behind the bushes. Sunset time especially is beautiful. The weather gets a little chill, the glare of the sunlight softens and one can hear the loud chatter and chirp of the Orange Crested Bulbul birds as they make their way back home.  Far away, in the tall trees I can see across the campus, the Asian male and female cuckoos peep up, flashing their blood red eyes at you. A little further down bats enjoy their evening flying without a care or hanging upside-down on one of the branches.

No. The campus is not in a jungle area. Much of the flora and fauna has been carefully planned and nurtured over the years. Much like the company itself. Infosys was founded in 1981 by the seven founder members team that had the courage to dream and the conviction to follow the dream. Back in 1981 it was started with a loaned $250 from Sudha Murthy, wife of Narayan Murthy. Today it generates $6.9 billion revenue, a $1.7 billion profit.

Everyday, as I walk through this campus, as I sit in the library trying to dig more into the Infosys story, I cant help but notice again that this is after all the dream of 7 Indians, who probably had a childhood and bringing up like mine. They however were dreamers. They followed the lesser-trodden path, explored the unknown, stood through the trials and challenges of an adventure long enough to taste success.

I stop reading. I look up for a while, feel the beautiful and mammoth space in the library and can’t help but think, "If they can, why cant we?"

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Mario Puzo - Godfather - Tactics and Strategy

Most of us at some or other point in our lives, either while reading or while at work would have heard about the two terms 'Tactics' and 'Strategy'. I had come across these terms during my management studies. And I came across the terms again when I was reading 'Godfather' by Mario Puzo. In the post below, I am sharing excerpts from the novel that show the difference between "tactics" and "strategy".

In the scene below, Sonny the elder son of Don massacres all the other Don "families" in a retaliation fight.
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Perhaps it was the stalemate that made Sonny Corleone embark on the bloody course of attrition that ended in his own death. Perhaps it was his dark violent nature given full rein. In any case, that spring and summer he mounted senseless raids on enemy auxiliaries. Tattaglia Family pimps were shot to death in Harlem, dock goons were massacred. This slaughter was senseless because it could not affect the outcome of the war. Sonny was a brilliant tactician and won his brilliant victories. But what was needed was the strategical genius of Don Corleone. The whole thing degenerated into such a deadly guerrilla war that both sides found themselves losing a great deal of revenue and lives to no purpose. The Corleone Family was finally forced to close down some of its most profitable bookmaking stations.

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The war that Sonny wages was triggered out of pure rage. He did not think about the long term implication of what he is doing - his thoughts and actions were short termed and his victories were short termed too. The result of this was that in the end he himself got killed and nothing good was gained out of this war. Sonny was good at executing "tactics" but he lost out on the long term focus.

Don on the other hand, was a strategical genius. He would have a long term plan or a strategy in mind, and use all his contacts, resources to realize the long term vision. This strategy would be executed as one or more "short term plans" (  tactics ) to achieve specific goals.

The paragraph below talks about Don's "strategical" genius. Don, who had been badly hurt, rises from his hospital bed and proposes peace with the five families that were at war as shown in the paragraph above.

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"Thank God my health has been restored and maybe I can help set this affair aright. Perhaps my son was too rash, too headstrong, I don't say no to that. .....I'm willing to make the peace," he said. "Tattaglia has lost a son, I have lost a son. We are quits. What would the world come to if people kept carrying grudges against all reason? That has been the cross of Sicily, where men are so busy with vendettas they have no time to earn bread for their families. It's foolishness. So I say now, let things be as they were before. I have not taken any steps to learn who betrayed and killed my son. Given peace, I will not do so. I have a son who cannot come home and I must receive assurances that when I arrange matters so that he can return safely that there will be no interference, no danger from the authorities. Once that's settled maybe we can talk about other matters that interest us and do ourselves, all of us, a profitable service today." Corleone gestured expressively, submissively, with his hands. "That is all I want."
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This move from the Don, was part of his long term plan to ensure his younger son's, Michael( who is on the run for killing a goon who attempted the Don's murder ) return. Once Michael does return, he takes control over the family business and brings back the Don's family in power.

As shown above, the Don did not mind a short term failure( as shown here by his submission to the other Don families ) in return for a longer term success. That showed Don's "strategical genius".

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The joys of reading

Only the eyes changed expression. He gave the impression of being a thinker and a fighter, a man who could work with infinite patience to jockey an adversary into just the right position, and then finish him with one terrific punch.

…………

“Nobody ever called on me to organize a corporation, and I’ve never yet probated an estate. I haven’t drawn up over a dozen contracts in my life, and I wouldn’t know how to go about foreclosing a mortgage. People that come to me don’t come to because they like the looks of my eyes, or the way my office is furnished, or because they’ve known me at a club. They come to me because they need me. They come to me because they want to hire me for what I can do.”

She (the client) looked up at him then. “Just what is it that you do, Mr. Mason?” she asked.

He snapped out two words at her. “I fight!”

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That was Perry Mason (the defense lawyer) in the "Case of the Velvet Claws" by Erle Stanley Gardner. I looked up to give myself a break. I had been sitting in the library. There were two 11 year old boys sitting in the front seat fighting and fooling around. I was surprised. When did the boys get in there? When I had sat at the bench with the Perry Mason, there had been a quiet girl sitting with a book in my front seat. She had not looked very interested in the book. She sat there turning the pages of her book and seemed to be whiling her time away.

The loud cry from the boys in the front seat, broke my reverie again. It took me a while to bring myself to my world around. I looked at my watch. One and half hours had passed by since I had sat in the library. I realized I had been lost in my book.

As I was growing up, books have been a constant companion. I remember, we were allowed to take one book from the school library every week. I would take one book, finish reading it in two days. There were times, I would get home at two pm and by seven pm I would finish a 400 page Nancy Drew. Once I finished reading my book, I would go to school eagerly the next day, to exchange my book with a friend's. By the next library period, I would have read atleast three books.

Other than reading books in the afternoons, we would read novels in the nights. Nights were meant to be study time. And parents were always checking on us to see if we were studying. So, we would take a full scape book, hide the small novel within the full scape book and read it as if we were reading our school assignment. It worked most of the times with dad, but mom always caught us.

Barely able to conceal her mischievous smile, she would say in a stern voice “Veena, remove the novel from with in the book.”

Well!

I have enjoyed the time I spent reading so much, that whenever I think about my childhood and books, it always manages to bring a smile on my face.

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Of phone calls, letters, telegrams and radios

Development in telecommunications, the evolution of internet and mobile phones has brought the world close. A lot close. Friends and family with whom you had trouble keeping in touch are now in touch with you everyday and sometimes multiple times in a day.

But what this age doesn't provide is the romance and magic of waiting and unknown. My father had a transferable job. Which meant we traveled a lot. Also our relatives lived in different cities. So, I had cousins and friends, growing up in diverse cultures in different parts of the country. I would want to know about them and the places where they were living in, but communicating with them was difficult.

To talk to someone in a different city, we had to place a trunk call. Placing the trunk call was a tedious task - because we needed to wait for ages, before the request for our call was taken and then delivered. Each call costed between Rs. 7 to Rs. 20 per minute (the value of Rs. 20 those days was much higher than what it is today) and hence we had to keep the messages on the call short and crisp. I remember, once when I had got a chance to speak to a dear cousin of mine, she had said in a whisper, (lest parents could hear what she was saying) "Veenakka, I have something to tell you... I will write a letter..."

I had waited in anticipation for ten days before the letter had come. But then that was the magic of letters. We would write long letters to our friends and cousins sharing with them the joys and pains of growing up. I remember coming from school and waiting on the porch for the afternoon postman to deliver our letters at 3 pm. When one of my friends had shifted to a hostel, both of us would write to each other every once in two days. This pattern had continued till she had made new friends in the hostel and got adjusted to the new life. With the advent of commercial airlines, letters within India would get delivered within three days. And if there were messages to be delivered faster than that, there was always the telegram.

On most days, telegrams meant bad news. I remember the time when the telegram had brought in the news of my paternal grandfather's death. The picture of my mother sitting distressed, with the telegram in one hand and tears flowing down her cheeks is still very vivid in my mind.

Talking about death, we had heard the news about the then Prime Minister Indira Gandhi's assassination on the big black radio box. Listening to the radio was a delight. We would tune in to vivid bharati and love to hear the clear, husky voice of the male radio presenter, or the bubbly, lively voice of the female presenter, taking us on a journey of music and movies. There were only a select few who held the coveted position of being a RJ (radio jockey). Hence very few had the privilege and responsibility of reaching out to the masses. We waited to hear that voice everyday and yearned to know the person behind the voice.

Those days had a magic of unknown, a joy in the anxious waiting, that I guess, today's "google and cell phone" world will find very difficult to understand.

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Hmm...

me: What are the tasks that I will be busy with when my child is 3 months old

Shruti: if you are breatfeeding, the child is still not taking solids at 3 months old

which means the child is feeding about every 3 hours

me: hmm

anything other than the feed that I need to take care of ?

Shruti : Yaar.. I dont understand your hmmm... What is that supposed to mean ??


Hehehe :) ( Ok. so dont ask me what does a hehe mean )

A hmm just means - well I dont want to comment.

On a serious note, of all the things, a "hmm" says, it definitely says - I have a mind of my own and right now, I am thinking of something that I dont want to comment on. Which means, right now, I don’t want to share with you my inner most funny, naughty, intellectual, curious, silent, non committal thoughts.

So when you are sitting behind a chat window chatting, playing with the words,emotions and thoughts that the person in front of you is thrusting in front of you, enjoying the privacy of displaying your intellect without revealing your emotions, you revel in the alienation that allows you to play around with your “hmm”. Among the various things a hmm conveys, it could give a support of a friend when a friend talks about a broken relationship and how it is breaking his life… With your eyebrows twitched in concern and your heart filled with love and concern you would say. Hmm. Meaning - I understand your pain and I am with you and I will hold you till you are through with your it.


On occasions, a hmm can hide your embarrassment and the red face when you have goofed up on an important information and your friend is asking “how is that possible” and you quickly say a hmm. ( Behind your beet red face hidden behind the chat window of your laptop – you yourself are wondering – “Damn ! how could I have made that mistake”.) And you put up a brave front to your friend and with your teeth biting your tongue, you type in a word – the all hiding – hmm …. ( meaning - I too don’t know how that is possible )


A hmm can be an expression of understanding, an expression to digest in important information, an expression that indicates a quest for fulfillment of your insatiable hunger for knowledge. So when your husband gives you a gyan on how organizations are run and how people who own the company could be so different from people who control its daily affairs – You pause and digest the information on the screen and with bliss and contentment and achievement written, all over your face, you recline back on the chair and say a silent hmm ! ( Ah ! That was good information ! )

And there are times, you dont really agree to something someone is saying. But what to say - you dont want to upset the person in front of you. Its been 3 years since you have not spoken to that friend of yours. That friend has been your closest buddy for a long time. And now you are not on speaking terms. Your cousin is asking you to patch up with that lost friendship of yours. Call her up she says. With your lips pursed in anger, and your face all tight, you say an arrogant hmm - meaning - Not really interested. But I will think about it.

And there are times, when you are expressing to your friend how much you are enjoying your break from your career. And your friend says a hmm. This time I was on the recieving end - Well, this "Hmm" stumped and puzzled me. But I guess that meant – Good I am happy for you . What next now ? You hear the love and concern of your dear friend in that hmm. You hear a connection that is deep and a support that is for ever. And you smile to yourself and think – guess this is what friends are for.

And with a glazed look on my face as I am “Hmm”ing to myself – I hear a “ting” on my laptop. My chat window is blinking. It says

Shruti: Where are you ?

Oops! I realize I got lost. I got serious !

Collecting my thoughts back and looking at the chat window and looking at my dear friend for twenty years awaiting a reply to her simple question, I have nothing to say but – Hmmm…Meaning – I am here. Just lost for a while. And am I glad that you are there.. !

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What are the three things that will sail you through life ?

One of my excolleagues and friend sent me a link to a blog post that she had written in which she asked - "What are the three things that will sail you through life?" The post and the topic stumped me. I thought and wondered about it. And here's what I discovered- The three things that will sail me through life would be -

1. Faith - This has come late in my life. But this quality has come to stay. I have come to realize that one just needs to have "FAITH" in life, and universe. Faith that everything that happens around you is for your own good and that everyone around and the universe has only the best of their intentions for you. I have written multiple posts on "Faith". Listing them below -

Nothing Will Happen

It Happened One Night

2. Friends - Recently I was going through a rough patch of my life. And if there was one thing that sailed me through the patch, especially since in a rough patch your intellect doesnt really work, it was my friends. There were times, when I had given up on myself and it was only because of few of my friends I was able to see myself - the real me. It was at that time I realized, that I might give up on myself, but my friends never will. Thank you guys!

3. Well, for the third point I would love to say fun or humour. But for me the third thing that would take me through life is "HONESTY" - When I say honesty, I do not mean being honest to others. Because what you say to others doesn't really matter. What takes me through the toughest times is being honest to myself - because then whatever others say or whatever situation says doesn’t really matter. Also acknowledging the truth to yourself, gives you avenues to take new actions.

What are the three things that will sail you through life.. ?

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Just like that ...

On a lazy Tuesday evening I was sitting and penning down a few thoughts. I was lost in the world of the characters when I heard a loud cry in the hall. The four year old in our house was upset and was crying. Apparently he had been playing with his six year old friend , Suryansh and eight year old friend Ashwath and he had been pushed down by Suryansh.

“Scold him”! he insisted between his sobs. We tried pacifying him. I heard his mother say – It is Ok beta. It happens all the time. Nobody pushes anyone on purpose. ( How true! it is mostly an accident or a thoughtless act of survival ). It was all play. ( Ah ! words of wisdom ! ).

Send him to the naughty corner… ! he insisted. His grandpa comes rushing from the pooja room. Grandpa tries to distract him. But to no avail. He looks at Suryansh, with a mischievous glint in his eyes tells him - Yaar! Usko hug karo! Usko Sorry bolo ! With the childlike glee on his face intact, he looks back at me and says – His ego is hurt ! ( I smile. )

Well the little one is quieter now – not pacified yet. Ashwath comes in now from nowhere. Suryansh hit you ? We will hit him! and he runs behind Suryansh and he pretends to hit him. That seems to stop Vayun's tears a bit.( Tit for Tat ? )

But Suryansh doesnt want to lie to his friend. With a loving look and a beautiful smile he tells Vayun, "No he did not hit me. Ashwath was only pretending". ( Friends ! Memories of all my friends who have stood by me through all my tough times, with whom I have grown in my understanding of life flash through my mind by now. My eyes are starting to fill ).

Vayun, is quiet now. Ashwath comes to him and says – Its ok Vayun. can we forgive Suryansh ? ( Forgive is a big word - I think. I am concerned at the turn of events. But most of times, that is all that is needed. A heartfelt sorry – and a chance to forgive. I admit this reality to myself with a heavy heart.)

Vayun, can we ? He asks again.

Vayun, gives a loving glance at Ashwath. A sheepish one to Suryansh and in one bear hug all the happenings of the evening is forgotten.

I hear loud laughter and childish giggle between the three boys as I settle back on my laptop. My broken thoughts are put back in place and I make an effort to hide the lone tear that is slipping down my cheek.

As I am staring hard at the hazy screen trying to get back to mood, I couldn't stop myself from thinking – Why cant adults do the same ?

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For first timers on my blog, Vayun is my nephew ( my brother's son )

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Saptapadi !

Marriages are time to bond ! Marriages are time to go glamorous ! Time to serve ! Time to be served ! Time to shop ! Oh ! Time to have fun ! The bride and bridegroom especially go through weeks of beautification , and preparation - all for the that one D-day. Elaborate preparations go through in the families involved and the D - day bears the fruits of all the hard work gone. The funny consequence of this also is that on the D-day the bride, bride-groom and the families are so in the function itself that most of the times, most of us, do not realize what is actually happening in the marriage proceedings. Well, understanding is a little difficult too, coz the rituals, lets talk about hindu rituals for now, happen in a language that is not understood easily by the common public.

Last year I attended the hindu marriage function of my cousin who got married through the Arya Samaj. The best part of a Arya Samaj marriage is that the chants are translated into English, or Hindi, so that the bride , bridegroom and all the people present in the ceremony can understand the rituals that are going on.

One important ritual of our marriage is a ritual called Saptapadi - or the seven vows the couple take as they take seven steps around the sacred pyre. With each step that the bride and the groom take, a vow is uttered. Even though I have been married for long now, I never fully knew what the saptapadi vows say.

This time I actually heard the meaning of the vows and found it pretty interesting to know the depth each of the vow that the couple took. And here are the seven vows that are taken in this ritual -

• The bride and the groom take the first step of the seven vows to pledge that they would provide a prospered living for the household or the family that they would look after .

• During the second step of the seven pheras, the bride and the groom promise that they would develop their physical, mental and spiritual powers in order to lead a lifestyle that would be healthy.

• During the third vow, the couple promises to earn a living and increase by righteous and proper means, so that their materialistic wealth increases manifold.

• While taking the fourth vow, the married couple pledges to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect, understanding and faith.

• The fifth vow is taken to have expand their heredity by having children, for whom, they will be responsible. They also pray to be blessed with healthy, honest and brave children.

• While taking the sixth step around the sacred fire, the bride and the groom pray for self-control of the mind, body and soul and longevity of their marital relationship.
  

• When the bride and the groom take the seventh and the last vow, they promise that they would be true and loyal to each other and would remain companions and best of friends for the lifetime.

These vows are so meaningful and deep - it will take the couple a lifetime of togetherness and companionship trying to live these vows.

I realized nothing can define a marriage the way the Saptapadi vows do.

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Love and Fear - Godfather

I just completed reading Godfather and loved it. Like the many other books that I have put up posts on, I would like to bring up a few dialogues that I really loved in this book.

Don Corleone is a underworld don who believes in following his own rules and heart. He does not submit to the Government and helps people who are in trouble.

Luca Brasi is a trusted man in Don Corleone’s regime . He is supposed to be tough and extremely loyal to the Don. The following is a dialogue about Luca Brasi that I found interesting.

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"Luca brasi did not fear the police, he did not fear society, he did not fear God, he did not fear hell, he did not fear or love his fellow man. But he had elected, he had chosen, to fear and love Don Corleone."
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I have two sisters who are close friends to me. The age difference between the two sisters is about seven years. So by the time the elder sister had a son, the younger one was just in college. Since the elder sister used to go to work, she would leave her son at her maternal home with her mother. This meant, that the younger sister had ample time to spend with the kid and the kid had become very close to the aunt. The kid simply adored and loved his aunt.

There was this incident that had happened with the kid when the kid was around 4 years old. One day, the young boy in his mischief, broke a vase at home and would just not apologize for the same to his grandmother. The younger sister watched the dialogues between her mother and the kid for some time. When she saw that the dialogue was moving nowhere, she took the boy with her into one of the study rooms and locked the door. After 5 mins when both of them came out, the boy was seemed subdued and went and apologized to his grandparents.

I was watching all this - and was amazed by the transformation. I raised my eyebrow in surprise at my aunt ( the kid's grandmom ) - asking - how did this happen ! Is he so scared of his aunt ?

His grandmom replied with a smile - No he is not scared of her. He loves her so much and has so much respect for her that no matter what he doesnt want to look bad in her eyes.

I was dazed.

If we look in our lives, there are umpteen people we come across. However there are only a few to who we really look up to and listen to. What makes us surrender to those people so unquestioningly? Force or authority or plead definitely is not a criteria .

On the other hand, there are a few people who trust us unquestioningly and there are some who find it difficult to understand us. Can you really make someone to understand you or follow your instructions ? You can reach out to a person, chide him, or request him, or explain things to him – but he/she will accept it only as much respect and acceptance the person has for you.

As shown in the anecdotes above, a person’s submission to you will be only out of his/her own willingness and respect and love he/she has for you.

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What is religion after all ?

Last week we had the Ayodhya verdict and with that the whole of India was bracing themselves up against any riots that could result out of the verdict.

The issues that were under verdict were the ones mentioned below :

1. It is being claimed by the Hindus that the disputed site was the birth place of Lord Rama. The court has to decided if it was really so.
2. The court is also to decide if a Hindu temple was demolished at the place where the Babri Masjid now stands. If yes, then when was it built?
3. It is also believed that a section of the Hindus placed the idols of Lord Rama in the mosque in the night of 23rd December, 1949. The court needs to authenticate the facts in this regard as well.

When I read those issues, I was surprised - are we really waiting a verdict on those issues ? Does it really matter if there was a Ram Idol placed in the mosque some 50 years back and if the mosque was built on a demolished temple some 500 years back. Does it really matter whether a mosque or a temple is built on the disputed site ?

Which made me think on the all pervasive question - What is religion ? Religion provides the guidance and support for each and every person to identify with all good around. It provides a platform for each individual to grow and contribute to the society. Religion is a pathway for progress of mankind and not a cause for divide and riots.

Look at this video that shows the interviews of the people of Ayodhya on the Babri masjid issue -



When I saw this video I was so happy , because it was clear that the the general public mostly wants peace and progress . The whole issue of the mandir and masjid looks like a controversy raked up by a few people for their general benefit.

Wish those few people realized what is written in the poem below -
Mandir to ban jaayega Par Ram kahan se laaoge?
Uss masjid ki deewaron ko Kya pak kabhi kar paaoge?
Jis chaukhat par log jale Ram wahan na jaayenge
Jin galiyaron mein khoon gira Maula kya reh paayenge?

( Courtesy -an article in TOI )

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Media Justice - Is it justified ?

Check this video out from 5.20 mins onwards. One of the singer in a popular singing show 2010 contest is talking about her divorce case and how she went through torture through out her marriage.

Over here whatever she is going through does look genuine and she does seem to have gone through a lot of pain. However, the point of the post is about the media attention that she is getting from viewers all over the country.

This video shows all the viewers lashing out on whatever she has gone through and giving her their full support. I have no problems with that. But my only contention is , have the zee guys atleast done some kind of investigation about whatever has happened in her life. I am not saying that she is being inauthentic or untrue - But all said and done, this story is "one-sided".

Again, do the media realize the impact of whatever they are doing. After this show, what will be the reputation of the lady's husband? Will he be ever able to show his face to anyone in his society. This treatment will be justified if he was guilty - but have the media done enough investigation to validate this story ?

Sometimes, these days, I, and I am sure most of us, get frustrated by the media and glamorization of news that is shown. Just to increase their viewership, the media doesn’t hesitate to show any piece of news without sufficient investigation. Somewhere, sometimes, I feel the whole angle of showing a piece of news responsibly is missing.

Even regarding the common wealth games – I thought the media had found a scape goat for their media requirements in Kalmadi and kept bashing him on all the channels. For days, when the media was showing the bad state of affairs, I kept turning the newspaper pages to see what are the corrective measures taken – how are we going to handle the mess – and for most days I found none of it. I mean – what is more important – the corrective actions – or finding out who is to blame.

I wish sometimes, that the media understand the reach and the impact they have on the general public. Making or breaking an event or a person is in their hands – and I do hope they use it more responsibly.

And how I wish the “media glamorization” would just come to an end.

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Fountainhead - Freedom and Compulsion

There is this discussion that is there in Fountainhead , that I really liked and wanted to share it with all of you here. Who are the main protagonists here and what is the context of this discussion is irrelevant.
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"The basic trouble with the modern world, " said Ellsworth Toohey, "is the intellectual fallacy that freedom and compulsion are opposites. To solve the gigantic problems crushing the world today, we must clarify our mental confusion. We must acquire a philosophical perspective. In essence, freedom and compulsion are one. Let me give you a simple illustration. Traffic lights restrain your freedom to cross a street whenever you wish. But this restraint gives you the freedom from being run over by a truck. If you were assigned to a job and prohibited from leaving it, it would restrain the freedom of your career . But it would give you the freedom from the fear of unemployment. Whenever a new compulsion is imposed upon us, e automatically gain a new freedom. The two are inseparable. Only by accepting total compulsion can we achieve total freedom. "

"That's right," said Mitchell Layton ,"People make too damn much fuss about freedom. What I mean is its a vague, over - abused word. I'm not even sure its' such a God-Damn blessing. I think people would be much happier in a regulated society that had a definite pattern and a unified form like a folk dance. You know how beautiful a folk dance is . And rhythmic too. That's because it took generations to work.it on and they don't let just any chance fool come along to change it. That's what we need. Pattern, I mean, and rhythm. Also beauty".

"What I mean is, what makes people unhappy is not too little choice, but too much. Having to decide, always to decide, torn every which way all of the time. Now in a society of pattern, a man could feel safe. Nobody would come to him all the time pestering him to do something. Nobody would have to do anything. What I mean is , of course, except working for the common good."

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Freedom and Compulsion - havent we all been at the impact of this. I remember , when I had just joined Wipro, Wipro had this regular progression path ( i.e. once in 2 years, you progress to the next role, based on the performance evaluation ). And then , one fine day, the management abandoned the regular progression and announced that the next role is there for anybody and everybody to go and take it. Your next role is not based on experience , but on your ability and go getter attitude. I remember the amount of politics this generated. People seemed to have cut throat competition with each other. There were no rules - so people tried all the tools at hand, to get that elusive promotion. Employees started becoming more closed - and the distrust in the environment just seemed to grow. Where earlier , promotions were a matter of celebration and fun, now, promotions were hidden - and only the manager and the concerned employee would be told about it.

In any society or organization, we are bound by certain rules. There are religious books , and our culture itself guides people on the ways to live our lives. In an organization it is defined by the dos and donts that any organization defines. Do these rules ( defined as compulsion by Ayn Rand ) bind us- yes , they do! But with this compulsion , comes the freedom to excel , realize our self and grow - given that there is only a certain premise in which to grow. There is a sensibility in the environment we are.

Does that mean that we continue to follow meaningless , insensible rules defined by "culture" - not really. Does that mean that the 'so called rules' have not been misused? They have been ! There have been times when a few influential in the society have misused the rules! Does it mean that rules cannot be questioned ? Not really .

The golden rule to remember is -At the end of it all, follow your heart, with courage and freedom - keeping in mind the general benefit of your self and the society. After all the compulsions are put in place with the sole intention of the general good in mind. Coming back to the terms Ayn Rand uses, Freedom, exercised without taking in to consideration the social benefit might as well be termed as 'Recklessness'.

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Etched in time and memory !

( Click on the picture to get a clearer and bigger view )

There are a lot of pictures that you capture that stay in your minds for ever.

They say a picture can create a whole story. I love this picture for this one fact. This picture is a picture of my cousin in kitchen of a traditional Mangalore Home.

There are a lot of things I love this picture for -

I love the picture for the heart felt, unabashed smile of my cousin. Have you ever noticed how simple people in the village are? Go to a village, and you will feel the love that the villagers bestow on you - pure, unconditional love that is filled with awe for people coming in from the cities. For them I guess people from the city symbolize someone who has gone out there, struggled through the hardships of life and stabilized himself for the benefit of the people back home. Their joy of preparing the village delicacies and feeding you is unparalleled.

I love the picture for the candid display of a typical mangalorian village kitchen. Notice the logs of wood that is used to make the fire to cook food. Among the various tasks that a mangalorian village home has, one of the tasks is to collect wood from the forests near by to light the stove. Lighting the woods and keeping it alive is a skill in itself. Every male and female in a village home has typically mastered this task. Also if you see carefully you will see that my cousin is sitting on a bigger log of wood. Notice the big round utensil on which the food is made. Typically rice is cooked in this village. People in a village are typically subjected to hard physical work – mostly related to some task in the farm, or taking the cows in the cowshed out to graze. Huge quantity of rice is usually used to feed the tired and hungry villagers for both the meals of the day.

I love this picture for the way in which my cousin is holding the cat. Cats and Dogs are an integral part of any mangalorian home. Cats litter and so do dogs - which mean that any house will not only have cats and dogs - but also kittens and puppies as part of the family. The kittens and puppies form a delightful companion for any young kid in the family. Dogs stay outside the house and Cats run about freely inside. As kids, we would love to run after the kittens, lift them pinching the skin of its neck (that’s the way the mother cat holds them - is what my mom had told me then), keep it in our lap and cuddle and pat it. This cousin of mine, used to sleep with the cat she is holding.

One picture and so many memories - Ancestral homes are such beautiful places to be!

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Can you tell me...

I was walking down to my office around 10 years back. I had just completed college and it was in the early days of my career. As I was enjoying the morning walk to my office, I was looking at various people doing various activities and getting ready to start their work. There was a construction site near by our office and I could see laborers doing manual labour. In India the ones doing menial, hard, physical jobs are considered to have lower strata in the society. The kind of jobs they do, earn them lesser too. Amongst those laborers was a hardworking, older looking man, whose dedication to work caught my eye. I paused to watch him for some time.

A lot of times, there are thoughts that come, hit you and go - all in a micro second and you know you will never ever be the same again. I remember thinking - what is the difference between him and any employee in my software industry? He does the same work that anyone in my office does, perhaps harder. He feels happy when good things happen to him and feels sad when he is hurt. He gets angry at things, when they do not work. Why the hell does he not enjoy the privileges that I or any one in my community does!

And then I remember thinking – Arent all human beings the same ? Who am I to differentiate between them ?

A small thought, a very common thought - but my life changed for ever. Never again in my life, could I ever command any one to do a menial job for me. This made life very difficult for me, because whether I met a carpenter, a labourer or a multi millionaire - I could no longer see any great difference in any one of them. They all looked the same to me. And it would leave them confused too - coz a man with high social position wouldn’t understand why I did not get awed by him - and a labourer would get confused as to why was I not maintaining a distance from him.

I did not know how to react to the levels and strata of society. And honestly speaking, I did not know where I stood in strata with respect to the different, unique, beautiful people in the society. Some were poor, some were rich. Some were highly accomplished, and some were not. But each one of them was beautiful and unique.

When we built our house - I personally took charge of the wood work in my house. There was a team of carpenters who came to work in our house and among them was an elderly carpenter. The other carpenters called him chacha ( uncle ). This man had a godly look on his face and I would just melt out of respect looking at his honest, hardworking face. And then one fine day, my Dad had come to visit me when the carpenters were at work. I looked at my dad and I looked at the old uncle - and I wondered, what is the difference between him and this old carpenter uncle?

I could not see any difference– thinking back, I still am not able to see any difference.
Can you tell me – what is the difference between the ones who have special status in the society and the ones who end up serving them?

How do you handle this social differentiation?

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Fountainhead - honesty

Found this conversation in Fountainhead on honesty -
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"The worst thing about dishonest people is what they think of as honesty," he said. "I know a woman who's never held to one conviction for three days running, but when I told her she had no integrity, she got very tight-lipped and said her idea of integrity wasn't mine; it seems she'd never stolen any money." -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I found this conversation quite interesting. Long back when I had just started my career , there was a couple in my team who were much older to me( maybe early thirties ). The husband was a senior lead and the wife was a team member under him. The husband was a bit of a arrogant idiot I would say ( forgive my use of words ). He had the habit of teasing everyone around him for no reason and little too sarcastically. His choices of words were very demeaning and insensitive. And unfortunately for his wife, he would tease his wife too in the same breadth. I mean, I failed to understand how can you insult your wife in front of dozens of complete strangers. And what is it that made his wife live with him after all those insults? And how about the people listening to his stupid jokes - were they not party to this insult ?

I would find this practice very disturbing - and I once shared the same with one of my colleagues . And his answer made me think. He said - No , No ! Dont get involved in their relationship. Its an equation they share - so dont bother. This guy otherwise is a very nice human being . He donates a lot to orphanages and old age homes.

For a minute I was stupefied. What really defines "being nice", "being true" or "being honest". Are you being true if you are being rude and insulting to your wife and go about donating alms to beggars. Are you being honest if you are not true to your inner self but have never ever stolen any money. In fact are you dishonest if you have stolen money for helping someone in need ? Or have you been untruthful, if you lie to protect an innocent?

Truth is, what your intellect says, is true and honest for a particular situation or circumstance. Ever been in a situation where you very strongly believed in a particular school of thought and your near and dear ones in another. What is "true” or “honest” in such a situation? "Being true", or "being honest" can be very subjective. It can vary from a person to person and for the same person it can vary from situation to situation. Which is why, a terrorist or a prostitute may see nothing wrong in what they are doing since they feel they are being true to their ideologies – and they are right in thinking so! And in the incident above, this sarcastic colleague of mine, for the limited perspective he had, obviously thought that he was doing nothing wrong.

Once you realize the narrowness of your truth, your intellect gives you a new platform to stand, new horizons to broaden your views on and consequently new levels of honesty to achieve. No Truth is permanent. Being honest, is therefore, a state in which we be true to the beliefs and thoughts that expresses our intellect and our inner self, rather than indulge in outward appearances of "not lying" or "not cheating", “supporting the poor” or “supporting the needy”, or "pleasing the society or the world".

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In love with a camera and a car ! :)

God has made men and women very differently and it is not for nothing that it is said that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus. All their unique idiosyncrasies apart, I can almost imagine Mars as a place full of gadgets and gizmos of all kinds and one superior, all-important gadget trying to maneuver the rest of them – the one with special abilities called ‘Man’. I mean how else can you explain a 'man's' love for gadgets !

My hubby got an analog SLR camera about a month before our marriage. And as can be expected, he loved the camera - and went berserk experimenting with it. He would take utmost care of the camera and was very possessive about it. It was almost as if he had brought a baby home.:)

A week after the wedding, we were in Darjeeling and the hubby and me were taking a leisurely stroll on the Mall road with me hanging on one of his shoulders and the camera taking his other one. The weather was beautiful, the climate not too cold, there was mist all around. The tourists all around were enjoying the chill as they snuggled in their shawls and jackets. The road side vendors seemed to be making brisk business. All in all, it was beautiful, and as is very common in Darjeeling, it started drizzling. And both of us( naah the three of us – who three ? – hubby , me and the camera of course! ) were getting wet. Ever the thoughtful guy, hubby quickly fetched the umbrella, opened it. Feeling all nice, I cuddled to get inside the umbrella. Ten seconds after the drizzling started and the umbrella was opened, it was still drizzling on me ! Curiously I looked up at hubby – when –I saw him holding the umbrella very protectively on his darling camera !

Just as I was recovering from my shock - he looks at me nonchalantly and says -
The camera needs to be covered !

With a helplessly innocent and righteous look on his face, he adds noticing the disbelief on my face- You can take care of yourself - the camera cant !

:))

Ya.. Right !

Even as early as 2-3 years old, boys can be distinguished as boys and girls as girls. Little boys show a clear liking towards cars, aero planes, mechanical gadgets, mobile phones, CDs and CD players as against dolls and cuddly stuff.

I tell you there is something about men and their love for machines! – Honestly! Even the pictures that my hubby took or the ones that instinctively fascinated him would be some form of buildings or machines( cars ) in all angles possible.

As the boys grow up, their fascination for cars moves from toy cars to real ones. Once I was sitting with my friends( guys ) on the porch of my office drinking hot tea. As I was spending time with them, lost in narrating office politics - I could barely hear a ‘hmm’ from them. Curious about what could be more interesting than my stories, I looked at them. I couldnt believe it - My colleagues were busily engaged in droooooling over all the cars that were passing by. They were lustily and longingly watching each and every car, with their gaze unflinchingly moving along the boot to bumper of every single car.

: ) : )

One would imagine that it was not cars that were passing by, but beautiful, size zero models strutting themselves on the ramp !

Its absolutely hilarious and intriguing to watch men and the special relationship they have with machines. I am sure each one of you have tales to tell. Do share !

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Black, White or Brown - Are we really different ?

We come in all colours – some of us are white, some of us are black, some brown. We come in all sizes – some of us are short, some of us tall. We have black, brown, and golden hair colours. We speak different languages – we have some six to seven thousand languages spoken in the world today. Our upbringing might be different, our social structures vary, we might have diverse cultures – but at the heart of it all – we go through the same emotions, learnings, self realizations and at the end of it all we all end up at the same place. Our approach to life might be different, but goals of all human beings, no matter from which part of the world or culture they come from, are the same.

These days I have made a German Friend in my course at IIMB. Lets call her B.

I was telling B that in the Indian society, youngsters take a long time to grow up and get independent. The social structure is such that the parents are very protective about their children well past their adulthood. In fact in India, parents are there for you, as a fall through and an unshakable support, at every step of your life - whether its marriage, children or career. Marriages in India, as most of my Indian friends would agree, are arranged by parents. This trend, though, is changing real fast. These days parents are “more open” to children choosing their own life partners. But the point is parental role takes a huge part in all the stages of our life and would be one of the reasons why a youth in India might mature much later than his counterpart in some parts of the world.

B, told me something very interesting about Germans and about the ways the children are brought up there. In German families, the children are taught to be independent and responsible very early in their life. For eg : If a German teenager ever wanted to smoke – his/her father would not stop her. He would tell him/her the consequences of smoking - but the decision to smoke or not would be entirely left to the individual. That I am sure, would make the children there, completely prepared to take on life when they actually don’t have the parental support later in their life. In India, being "responsible" for your decisions is a realization that comes much later in one's life - I would say sometime in your twenties. Also in the German culture, decisions like marriage, and choosing a life partner, is completely left to the individual. One is supposed to find their partners and be completely responsible about the choice they make about their marriage. Sometimes though, this would leave a few of them searching till very late in their lives.

When B came down to India for work or an assignment, she would find the Indian ways of living a little difficult to digest. She was once teaching in a college at Delhi where one of her favorite students, who was extremely good at her work, wanted to pursue her studies further. But her(the student’s) family insisted on her “settling down” in her life ( read that as – getting married ). B, found it very difficult to understand, how can a fully grown adult , who is mature enough to take her own decisions, not be given the choice she wanted to make in her life – that of pursuing her career.

I remember someone telling me about an interesting way in which the Japanese bring up their children. In a lot of houses in Japan, each child is given a small tree when the child is very small ( may be 3-4 years old ). And this child is given the complete responsibility of bring up this tree. From watering it to taking care of its needs, to cleaning it and protecting it - is the child's responsibility. The child and the tree grow up with each other - with the child who is now an adult, having learnt some very good lessons on responsibility.

I am sure, if we study all the various cultures across the world, we all will find lot of interesting ways in which societies function. But if you look more closely, you will realize that the goal of all the social structures and cultures is just the same - to provide an environment for each and every individual’s mental, social and finally spiritual growth.

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